Still a slight struggle to be joyful today, but encouraged by the joy and persistence of my beautiful friend Flick, and by incredible spring weather. This morning I was reminded of my dependence on God. I woke up tired and grumpy and with a headache and proceeded to curl up in a ball in our prayer room for 20 minutes simply asking Him to make me feel able to do the day and not be in such a bad mood. Amazingly, though not surprisingly - and yet still I am surprised - my headache vanished and I was enabled to spend time resting in His presence. Why, oh why am I so slow to learn that old lesson of childlikeness? To learn that His longing is for us to simply be his kids and ask for help, to acknowledge our need of him, to recognise that every breath in and breath out is an act of mercy. Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3. I don't know what this means. I know what it doesn't mean though. It doesn't mean sitting in a library getting frustrated instead of remembering that I'm trying to honour God in my work not achieve some other end. It doesn't mean getting stressed and worried and anxious and then praying as a last resort. It doesn't mean trying to do everything I've planned in a day rather than enjoying what God has given me to do. Oh to be more like a child! To yawn sleepily and crawl onto the lap of a loving Father instead of staying up late labouring. For unless Dad's helping us to build, what's the point anyway? Psalm 127:1-2.
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